I'm pregnant

This blog will be transitioning from "My Life in Deutschland" to "My Life"...

-a new life

--one where I have a baby growing inside of me

---one where everything is suddenly, completely, incredibly, and permanently changed.

I will love this baby with all my heart and with all my days.  

       So as of right now, I am three days away from my wonderful 12-week-end-of-my-first-trimester check-up. I will finally meet my OBGYN.... which I guess will actually be two different people. I'm going to North Ottowa with everything regarding my pregnancy. Then the OB on call when I'm in labor will be the one to assist with getting this peanut out! But I know this bugger is gonna go easy on me... Baby and I will be just fine, isn't that right, punkin? He's got my back. 

Oh... I will be shocked if I'm having a girl. Momma's got this feeling!

 

       Now, I know it'll fly by, but this first tri has seemed so long... waking up in the middle of the night feeling woozy and mad that I have to get up to pee. I better get used to that. Ready or not, my bladder will be SMOOSHED. 

 

Foods I like right now:

-cantaloupe

-strawberries

-applesauce

-bagels / cream cheese

-string cheese

-white rice

-plain noodles with butter / salt

 

Sometimes I get courageous and eat some pizza.....but I usually end up regretting it. So I stick with what I know.

 

I'm excited to find out what it is Baby really ENJOYS through what I eat... right now, it's mostly what I can TOLERATE. 

 --I'll keep you updated if you care to follow up ;)

 

 This has been my first entry of "My Life" blog. Stay tuned for whatever else I decide to throw in here!

 

p.s. due date is July 3rd 2020 

 

   

Home

I know I'm a little (veryyyyy) late, but I'm home!
I've been home for about two and a half months.

I will try to explain every little detail of coming home.

IT WAS INSANE.

Seeing my family for the first time in a year was so heart warming... the kids got so big, they lost more teeth, and they were all around more mature.

I was so excited to be back, but then I was also very nervous.

Everything was just so overwhelming.

Even now.

"Kennadi, you've been back for a whole two months..."

Yeah... and I was gone for eleven.

The thing I was most afriad of was losing friends... but I've realized that I haven't "lost" any... the friends I have now are there because I chose them to be. I've seen many people's true colors. And well... some of my 'great friends'...mmm, their colors simply  c l a s h  with mine.

onto bigger and better things...

...

...

...

school.

senior.

sweet.

I'm so glad to be back at Reeths-Puffer... as a SENIOR!!!

And honestly, for me... it is all its cracked up to be. I can dance on tables and sing like an ostrich and no one can say anything about it. And if they do, I say ...

YOLO! I'M A SENIOR! #HASHTAG

to continue...

4 months later.
I'm ready to be done with school. That "senior high" is definitely gone. I'm so over being in highschool.

Yesterday I realized how NORMAL it is to be home... I don't want it to be the norm...
I miss the feeling of feeling out of place... as weird as that sounds.
I belong in Europe, in Germany. But now my body and mind are used to being here... and I guess this is where I belong. For now at least.

Almost there

5 days.

I was going to blog when it was like, one month left… but I got a little busy. And look where I am now!

In 5 days I will be sitting on a plane, wondering where this whole year went.

• To catch up on some things… this family has been absolutely amazing. My host papa even got me piano lessons with Guoda Gedvilaite… a very talented pianist who performs numerous shows. So lately I’ve been working on that, which has kept my mind a little busy… a little distracted.

All I’m doing now is cramming a bunch of stuff into the last days I have here.

The exchange students have had their goodbyes… we had our last Distrikt Konferenz a couple weeks ago…. which was just weird. We all received certificates stating that we, well… "made it" pretty  much. 

--It really opened my eyes and made me realize that this is  a c t u a l l y  coming to an end.

Let’s just say there were tears.

But I’m also looking forward to going home! It’s like every other day is different. Or even 5 seconds can make the difference. One second I will be talking to a family member/friend at home, smiling and laughing…then take a break…look around my room and realize that everything is being all sorted out for me to leave…at that second I just bawl.

I’m pretty bipolar lately.

I don’t know what I should feel.

I guess I should just let my moods kick in and out….

Saying goodbye always sucks… but all I can do is hope that I will see these amazing people again.

This year isn’t just some year in my life…. It’s a life put into a year.

And because of this experience, I have become a better person… and it’s just tough to leave everything behind.

I’m sure it’ll help me somehow once I’m back home, or make me appreciate the little things more, but sometimes it’s just hard to imagine my life any differently than it is right now.

Side note… getting a puppy. My parents finally caved… so score!

Back to reality.

People say home is where the heart is... 

[but the thing is] I have two homes now. How am I supposed to leave one of them without my heart breaking?

This exchange really has been something else. 11 months ago, I had no idea what I was going to go through and experience… and how hard it was going to be… or fun…. or sad… or  e x c i t i n g.
{How adventurous or independent I’d become.}

I was still just a little girl who let her parents do everything for her.

This year really has made me grow as a person.

I’m not saying the whole cheesy ‘I found myself’ thing… but I definitely am getting there…little by little.

I just can’t believe that it’s almost done.

5

4

3

2

1

Just a Trip

Three week European Tour... Luxembourg, Belgium, France, Monaco, Italy, Austria, Hungary, Slovakia, Czech Republic, and Germany.

Where do I even begin??

I guess I'll just see where this blog takes me.

First off, I had been looking forward to this trip my WHOLE exchange.... the whole time I was thinking 'next year I am going to have a once in a life time experience'. It was just always "next year". And now it's done.

I'll fill you in on how it was. 

amazing.

Reuniting with some of my best friends in the world was a great feeling.

Seeing everybody was absolutely AMAZING of course... it's not so often when the whole group meets up! We also met another distrikt... we both were going together. So 50-60 exchange students crammed on a bus...

That's perfection. <3

The bus rides hold 1000 memories in itself. There was just always something happening.

• stupid, hilarious jokes being told
• annoying people yelling when the majority were sleeping
• crying about leaving
• laughing at all the memories we've had together
• singing/dancing
• everyone sprawling out wherever there was room
• watching movies and screaming at every 'scary' part that came up

House of Wax... just weird.

Altogether, it was a perfect start.

And lemme tell ya, that perfect feeling never went away.

Except for some of the places we stayed at. ;)

The first two hotels were awesome... like Goddesses really... then the whole 'student hostile' kind of stuff sort of killed some of us... I mean, we can handle ourselves... but living in a place that used to be a hospital or having a shower literally less than a foot away from the toilet without a shower curtain takes you back a bit.

But it was still awesome!

We actually ended up with a couple hotels right on the beach.... so those were some crazy fun nights.

What was really cool... was when we were in Vienna...... all exchange clubs in Europe do a EuroTour just like we did... and it just happened that a distrikt in France was doing theirs'. Best friends were found... it was so cool to see... yet it got me super jealous. d: But some of the best memories throughout this trip was GIRLS NIGHT! Just about every night, some of the girls and I would get together and meet up in a room... just talk about anything and everything and have some fun :) It was classy, yet crazy. d:

These are some of the greatest friends I will ever meet in my whole life. Leti, Leka, Anilu, Ingrid, and Bianca. I love you girls!

What I absolutely loved about this trip was not knowing what day of the week it was. We treated every day and every night as if it were a Saturday. (even though we had to get up at like 7 AM all the time). When we did realize what day it actually was, it was sort of sad. It just kept getting closer and closer to the end... and no one wanted to think about that one bit.

There were some specific things that just made the trip awesome.
But first I’ll start with Paris.

STORY TIME! “Lost in Paris”…

So after a wonderful day of site seeing in Paris, we were headed back to the hotel. (our goal being there at 10 or 11)… so as always we just took the subway.
--Now, I’m still not sure what went wrong, but we somehow ended up in the wrong place?...maybe? In any case, we had to wait and get directions on where to go. Finally, we were placed on the street, saying that our next bus was coming in 35 minutes.

Okay, not so bad…. Even though we had to wait outside quite a bit.

So we waited.

And waited...

And realized it had been 45 minutes…. Then an hour.

Oh, we were just on the wrong side of the building? Awesome. So we walked to where we actually needed to be. 

You'll never guess what we did then!!!

...

We waited.... with a beautiful view of the Eiffel Tower... as you can see.

Buses passed , some stopped, but that didn’t help – they said they couldn’t do anything for us.

Our personal bus driver was drunk this night, so that didn’t do much either….

Finally, a bus stopped and our French exchange students (God bless their souls) talked to the bus driver and tried to convince him to bring us home.

SOOOOO we waited on the BUS.

Until 

he 

said 

...

no.

After he felt our anger as we walked off the bus, he called someone and finalllllly said we could be on our way!

I would like to say we were excited, but we were just plain exhausted.

We ended up getting back at 2:30 or 3:00.

^^ Even THAT was perfect.

{{memories}}

Every little thing that happened, every little glitch, was just perfect. Just because a group of best friends were together.

The other things that just made this trip amazing…

-Hanging out by the Eiffel Tower with some friends…

     -Seeing the Pope on Easter,

          -Swimming in the Rhone River,

           -Exploring each city and finding the most beautiful sites ever.     
 -Being in the biggest club in Europe in Prague :)

Oh, and pretty much seeing Kermie Worm... that was awesome.








 The greatest gift of all was just goofing off with what has grown to be my family from all over the world. ;)

It was sometimes hectic going from city to city, but this trip is just unforgettable.

• When it came to an end, an exchange student actually had to say goodbye. She was leaving the week after to go home to Taiwan. Things were getting hard at home, so on the bus on the way home, she did her ‘goodbye speech’……. And I never want to have to do that. Hearing her say goodbye was one of the hardest things to listen to. It made me realize how much I care about all these people, and how lucky I am to actually be here. I don’t want to leave Germany….. because, really… it’s not like I’m just leaving one country. I’m leaving Brazil, Australia, Mexico, Canada, Taiwan, Venezuela, Argentina… I’m leaving all these wonderful people from all over the world.

And what’s sad is… now that the Euro Tour is over, the next thing I’m looking forward to is our last official meeting – the meeting where we say goodbye.

I’m looking forward to saying goodbye. And that just doesn’t feel right.

It almost seems unfair that we have had to watch each other grow from Gemersheim with our Sprachkurs up until now… a year later. I’ve seen so many awesome changes in everyone, and we have just simply grown as a family throughout this year. And now we are going to have to go our separate ways.

Emotions are hard to control right about now. I’m way excited to see my friends and family at home, but I’m super sad  to have to leave my family and friends here.

...I always wonder what it’s going to be like… I mean, I know I’m different. I’m not sure how, but I just know.
I actually watched some old videos of myself, and woah. Seeing myself and hearing myself… was just bizarre.

Who are my friends going to be when I get back? 

I want everything to be the same, but I just don’t know if that’s possible. Whatever the case may be, my senior year is going to be huge… and awesome.

And I’ll make the best out of whatever life throws at me. – That’s what I’ve learned during my exchange.

I’ve done a lot of ‘self searching’ this whole time that I’ve been here. It’s hard to say what it’s going to be like in July when I’m surrounded by what’s "normal". Even though normal just isn’t normal anymore.

But let me tell you this, Amerika… you better get ready... because before you know it...

Momma's comin' home!

New Stuff & Things

Here we go.


I've been in this household for two weeks now...
and let me tell ya.


ohmygodit'samazingican'tevenexplainit.

sorry, got excited for a second there.

Let me rewind a second.

-- At my last school, EKS, we had a little bit of a 'goodbye' thing goin on...

Couple things..

1. My 6th grade Englisch Klasse had a breakfast/game hour for me... because it was our last day that we'd be together in the classroom... I even got some presents from a couple of them! voll suß :)
2. My grade... 10 a b & c, went to Eissporthalle and had pretty much a chill day << literally, because we went iceskating... that was a ... well, that joke was... na... ok, so... it was really cool just hanging out with them then afterwards hanging out in the sun outside.

THIS WEATHER HAS BEEN ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL! 

It honestly was a perfect send-off from Darmstadt.

I definitely  miss some things of the family, and friends...and all of that, but all the memories are priceless, and I'm so glad I got to experience such different ways of life there :)

and now i'm here.

I'm now a "Maas"... and I really do feel like one!
The whole "guest" stage kind of  just skipped itself...

One thing that has really made me feel at home [aside from the mom being American] is having this little sister, Clara.
Clara is absolutely adorable, and we are always playing board games together, or watching 'Glee'/'How I Met Your Mother'.... it's nothing special, but I love just being with her!
Like yesterday... she was getting sick and was all bundled up on the couch... I carried her upstairs to her room, making funny noises, kind of acting like I do with my little cousins at home...
It wasn't anything that other people would particularly remember, but those kinds of things that I do without feeling forced or awkward, are the things that really make me feel at home.

--almost forgot to tell you about SCHOOL!

I'm in an all girl catholic school...
At first I was like,
.............................................................
And now I'm like,
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Every morning, the teacher comes in and says "Guten Morgen" (good morning)...
The whole class has to stand up, and say... I mean, SING. [I just googled a piano to see exactly what interval we sing...because it's always the same, and it's approximately C# to E... pattern being C# C# E E, E C#------) Guten Morgen, Frau Brennecke.

Every time a new teacher comes in, we repeat that... and I'm always caught off guard... just sitting reading 'The Hunger Games' then finding that everybody is about to sing.

Good news is, we had our Klasse Foto the other day, and I was laying in the middle in front of everybody looking like the model that I am.
That'll be in the YEAR BOOK :)
I'm just way cute.

BY THE WAY, there was a 'concert' at my old school that I went back to do... everybody either sang or played an instrument and whatnot... it was really fun :) Jakob and Anilu from LGG also came to see me!! ... Then afterwards, Anilu and I were hugging and almost crying just freaking out about the EuroTour........ she's my best friend in the whole world.

anyways

back to my home

I already explained what my floor is like, with my own bathroom and piano room and stuff.... I'll just let ya know, that that's really workin well for me!

I always adore this dog here... Sammy is always comin up with his little rubber chicken wanting me to play with him... and........ I do... I really do :) Every time... sometimes... cute Sammy Bear.
oooooooooookay!

Christoph, Kristin, Clara, Kennadi.... Anton.
He's kind of the odd man out in the 'k' sounding situation...
I'd say we make a pretty sweet family :)

I'm almost bummed to be leaving them for three weeks.

but then i think...

I'M GOING ON A EUROPEAN TOUR FOR THREE WEEKS TO SO MANY WONDERFUL AMAZING SWEET PLACES.....

so then i don't feel bad or bummed anymore ;)

Today is Saturday, the 31st of March.... and it's a little after 8....... because I'm so excited and my body woke up at like 7:30. Awesome. No, but really, it's awesome! I leave in a few hours, and I can't WAIT! <3

I can't think of anything else to say.
So I'm going to finish packing now.

I am 16 going on 17... oh wait, I'm already 17.

Such a clever title............

(Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag)

...long way of saying Happy Birthday.

I…… am 17 years old.

--And I feel the same.

But I’m still really happy J 

I’m so grateful for what I have here – it was definitely  d i f f e r e n t  celebrating here, but this I guess… was my chance to see a new way of celebrating, just like I did during Christmas….

[[Just like I have been doing my whole time here… experiencing new things.]]

• Here, it’s super formal. Like, lemme tell ya…. While we were having our coffee and muffins/cake at a quiet table, following up with some bread and wine, I was thinking about what would be happening at that moment at home;

1. There would be kids banging on the piano making ‘beautiful music’,
2. Kids sliding the stairs with different objects,
3. The little girls playing in my room with lipstick/dolls that they found while jumping on my bed…
4. Dogs trying to steal food,

And so on and so forth. 

Once again, it wasn't better or worse.... it was just different. 

I mean, I will never have a birthday like that again.

Let me tell ya about what I got...

-Chocolate... looking forward to gaining some more Kilos ;) [no, really.. it's worth it]

-A book of pictures of my next city, Bad Homburg..

-A small notebook

-Socks that my 1st host mom knitted for me

-100 euros from my Grandma and Grandpa at home :)

Speaking of home, I got the package from my parents a few weeks ago and decided to open it early on Skype with them...

The two best things in that package...

Ramen...noodles!

And a bracelet <3

A bracelet that says "Love you most" on it.

My mom and I say that almost every time we talk before we go.

But I really think I'll always be the one that loves her most.
No...question...about it. <3

Can I rewind for a second?

--pff, it's my blog... I can do what I want!

The whole night I was a-okay... and then my host dad brought out just a simple little plate with a bunch of candles sitting on it....... and they sang to me. They sang one of the German versions of 'Happy Birthday'.

Well, I lost it...

(as you can see here... Ennie, my 1st host dog came too... so she was kind of my cover up so people "didn't know" I was crying"
The thing is... I don't even know why I was crying... was I sad or homesick or grateful or shocked or what? ... I think it was just a mixture of a bunch of emotions.

...Then, of course.. everything was great!

My to-be-host-sister seems pretty excited to have me as her big sister... and I really just can't wait :) I'll miss Leo, but my 3rd host dad said she is totally welcome to come over for a weekend... so I'm not worried one bit! <3

I leave this house....

in two weeks.

TWO WEEKS!

Time really does fly... I mean....... I was so proud of being four... and now I'm seventeen?!
And in Germany?!

Already about to leave to my third host family?!

And then go on a three week Europa Tour in April?!

just getting excited...

Things really have been going well though... the school and everything...

I'm in a 6th grade Englisch class... and they are all so sweet.
We're planning on having a little breakfast party next-next Tuesday since it'll be my last day with them.

Really, all of the school is great... I am doing this Casting thing... kind of like a talent show...

And when I was going to audition a little boy [no idea who he is] yelled "Kennadi ist hier! Kennadi ist hier!!!!"
Then all the kids were excited...
They really make my exchange something else :)

Anyways... I'm not trying to bore you or anything... just one more thing...

Tomorrow, I see my exchange students again! We, inbounds, are going to meet the German outbounds here! It should be a blast!

I'm gonna strut my little 17-year-old patootie ;)

Für meine deutschen Freunde.

Warum nicht?

Ich hab gedacht, dass ich ein Blog für meine Freunde hier machen soll. 
-aber, ich muss sagen.... ich hab VIELE Fehler in mein Deutsch, und das weiß ich.

• die
• der
• das

immer falsch. 

Und manchmal, es gibt ein "s" oder "m" ... zum Beispiel... diesem, oder... jedes.... naja, keine ahnung.

ok, weiter.

Hier ist eine Frage, dass ich immer höre...
"Vermisst du deine Familie?"

und das ist ein bisschen kompliziert zu erklären.

Bestimmt, vermisse ich meine Familie... aber jetzt hab ich kein heimweh.

Der erste oder zweite Monat hier... viel.

1) das ist ein bisschen länger als ein Ferien

2) ich war krank... und ohne Eltern ist echt komisch.

Aber jetzt... ich hab viele Freunde hier und mein Deutsch ist besser... am Anfang war es fast unmöglich zu sprechen... aber schritt für schritt es geht besser.

Also... es ist viel einfacher.

immer noch schwer.

aber besser.

Aber, ach mannnnn! Ich bin fast fertig mit SIEBEN MONATE.

willst du mich verarschen?!

wie schnell.....

Natürlich freue ich mich auf meine Familie... aber ich bin in Deutschland nur für ein Jahr.
Ich hab mein GANZES Leben in den USA gelebt.

Also, guck mal...

Heute ist 18. Februar...
Mein Datum, dass ich zurück fliegen ist 2. Juli.

Vier Monate...ein paar Wochen...oh mein Gott.

Ich bin in diesem Schule in Darmstadt bis 16. März, dann gehe ich nach Bad Homburg...

UND DANN hab ich ein Europa Tour von 31. März bis 21. April.

^^ dann hab ich nur ein bisschen Zeit!
2 Monate und ein paar Wochen.

Ach Menschhhh!

Komm runter, Kennadi... chilllllll!

Also, liebe Freunde...
Ihr seid die Beste und ich werde euch vermissen.
Aber jetzt haben wir noch Zeit...oder?
Ja, stimmt! :)

So weit so gut, Leute! Ich hoffe es bleibt so <3

Danke für alles.

Ich hoffe, dass mein Blog nicht so viel Fehler hat.

:)